Love Week: Rachel - 'Moving & Marriage'


Yesterday was our 10th Wedding Anniversary and it was so lovely! I cannot wait to share all the photos with you guys.  Thank you so much for all the lovely comments, messages, and tweets!  I look forward to responding to you all. One person who always responds to me is Rachel, my guest blogger for today for the continuation of Love Week.  As a busy wife and mum I know how time consuming blogging can be (though I love it!) but Rachel some how manages to do it all.  I love her big heart and her loving spirit.  She has the cutest two little doggies whom I follow as a vicarious pet owner.  I was drawn to her having lived an Expat life and love to view her amazing travel photographs.  She is definitely someone I hope to plan a future blate with so I can hear about her travel experiences in person and perhaps make friends with her dogs. :)  Thank you so much Rachel for taking the time to be apart of this Love Week Series!  




Hi, everyone! I'm Rachel and I blog over at Postcards from Rachel, and I'm very excited to be guest posting for Bonnie while she renews her vows in Wales! Since this week's posts are centered around love and relationships, I figured I'd discuss how moving abroad impacted my marriage and what I've learned from the experience. But first, let me give you a brief timeline of events.


B and I met at a happy hour in Washington, DC while he was working in finance and I was working on the Hill. Okay, okay... so it wasn't exactly a happy hour because it was late and I was a little really tipsy, but that sounds better than saying we met at a bar, right? Right. Anyway, things obviously worked out because one year later we were engaged to be married. While I was trying to plan a long-distance wedding and juggle a Congressman's schedule, B brought up the idea of moving abroad for his job. I was overwhelmed and had just experienced my first panic attack at work, and honestly, quitting my job to move abroad to Scotland sounded like a fairytale. And a good excuse to take it easy for a while.
We got married in the Midwest, left for our honeymoon, returned to DC a week later, and started hauling all of our belongings to a storage unit in Virginia. I had my last day of work and a few days later we hopped on a plane to the UK. This all happened in about three weeks.  
Because everything happened so quickly and we still needed to find a place to live in Scotland, we fought. A lot. Living out of a suitcase in a cramped hotel room for two weeks wasn't my idea of newlywed bliss and I had a difficult time adjusting to unemployment. Eventually we found an apartment and things got a little easier, but I found myself not wanting to get out of bed. I didn't realize the move would have such a negative impact on me.
I felt out of place, I missed my friends and family and most of all, I was completely bored. While I was working in DC, I didn't really have any hobbies, so I didn't know what to do with my time in Scotland. Because I was sad, I contemplated returning home. When I realized going back wouldn't work, I took out my frustration on my husband. He worked long hours and I was constantly alone so I blamed him.
Then one day things changed. We suddenly realized that since we were living in a foreign country without any support from our loved ones, we needed to be each other's biggest cheerleaders. We learned to rely on one another, worked on our communication skills, and helped each other through rough patches during our expat adventures. We planned date nights and vacations, talked about our future and before I knew it, B became my best friend once again.
Even though expat life was hard, it was the best thing that could have happened to us as a couple. Would we have learned this much about each other in DC while we were both working full-time? Eventually, yes. But because we were thrown into this situation, we developed a stronger trust.
It's been almost two years since our wedding. We're still moving around, we still have our ups and downs, and we continue to grow.

Do you have a similar story?

@postcardsrachel

11 comments:

  1. I love your honesty and openness in this story :) All relationships have ups and downs, it's just a matter of coming out stronger at the end. Thanks for sharing!


    xxx
    Jenna

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  2. Beautiful post and so sincere! I fought like a mad woman with my husband too for the EXACT same reasons when I moved to Seoul with me and boy was it rough. I'm so glad that you two have stuck it out and have decided to make it work because marriage is never easy, but it's worth it.

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  3. Thank you for having me, Bonnie! I love telling people our story because it wasn't great at the beginning... but things can ALWAYS get better. :)

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  4. I absolutely loved this post, Rachel! Thank you so much for sharing. It was beautifully written and what a TRUE love story is like. So many people think that being in-love is pure bliss and fighting is so foreign, when in actuality, true love can (at times) be the exact opposite. True love shines through the brightest (I believe) when it'd be so easy to walk away, when all you do is fight and blame, but two people choose to make things work together to improve a life style.

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  5. What a sweet story! I had a similar experience when we first moved to Germany. Even though it's hard, it's amazing how much closer you become once you make it through something like that! Thanks for being so honest.

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  6. HI Rachel,
    Moving to another country is not easy at all but for me it has more good things than bad things. This is the second time that I live abroad and although it is very hard sometimes, I think it makes me stronger. The bad thing is that I thought that I would improve my English faster :( Living in Europe is very convenient if you like traveling because everything is so close and you can find really cheap tickets.
    Thank you for sharing your experience.


    Bea @ Love Living Abroad

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  7. What a cute post idea! Great photos too!

    S&R

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    New Post!

    http://www.cattaildown.com/my-blog/2013/08/diy-terrarium.html

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  8. I really enjoyed this, Rachel! :) The honesty of the situation and the difficulty of it! I think a lot of times we think that things are just supposed to be perfect, and especially after a wedding. But you still have two PEOPLE coming together and that means communication and compromise. I'm so glad that you were able to see your way out of that tough situation -- sounds like a lot of things hit you at one time and that can be so emotionally draining and hard to get out of! Thank you so much for sharing! :)

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  9. This feels very real and honest to me. I like that you aren't sugarcoating anything. Traveling and living abroad, I think, are two different things so it's nice to see your point of view! Great post! Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us. :)

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  10. Thank you Rachel for posting on my LoveWeek series, I really appreciate it and really loved reading your post! I love what you say about how things can always get better. I know for us things were great and then got to a point where they were not great, but things can always get better! Life is ups and downs and should always focus on the good! x

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I love to interact with my readers and I try my best to respond back to all comments.

Cheers,
Bonnie Rose

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